The Truth about Perfection Paralysis, 4 Strategies to Break Free
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Are you continuously trying to meet high standards but can’t seem to get past the anxiety of not being good enough ? And no matter how hard you try, your perfection paralysis is always one step ahead, keeping you from beginning or finishing tasks and projects.
Have you ever come across the term “lazy perfectionist” and wondered if you fit the description ?
It’s not just you. Perfection paralysis is a problem that affects millions of people worldwide and keeps them from living their lives to the fullest.
The good news is, there is a way out.
This article will talk about the cycle of perfectionism and procrastination and will give you tried-and-true tools and strategies that you can start using right away to help change your perfectionist mindset and overcome the procrastination that comes with it.
Table of Contents
Let’s first understand what is meant by a lazy perfectionist.
According to Urban Dictionary, a lazy perfectionist is someone who wants everything to be perfect and has high standards but does not have the will to do what’s necessary to achieve them.
Lazy perfectionists tend to set unrealistic and unsustainable standards for themselves and are excessively careful and over-analyze every decision they make. They also tend to be critical of themselves, often feeling they’re not good enough or unable to achieve their goals. As a result, they usually end up struggling with the motivation to get things done.
Perfectionists tend to have a difficult time letting go of things, no matter how bad they feel about them. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress, which in turn affect their overall wellbeing. Because they are so focused on the negative aspects of everything, it becomes very hard for them to live a fulfilling life.
I must say that I have some reservations about the term “lazy perfectionist,” because I believe perfectionism is more often linked to procrastination than to laziness.
In fact, procrastination and laziness are two different concepts; procrastination involves delaying a task or activity unnecessarily, whereas laziness involves being unwilling to put in any effort.
Related Read: Laziness Vs Procrastination: Understand the Difference (Take Our Quiz)
The connection between perfectionism and procrastination
There’s a lot of debate over the nature of the relationship between perfectionism and procrastination. Some people believe that the connection is a myth or just another excuse to keep procrastinating, while others believe that perfectionism is the root cause of procrastination.
The truth is that the link and the interaction between the two are quite complex and tricky to pinpoint precisely.
While the relationship between perfectionism and procrastination is rather complex, it is widely believed that they are often two sides of the same coin. People with high levels of perfectionism tend to find it difficult to start projects or tasks, believing that they might not meet their standards. This often leads them to put off starting work until later, when they may feel more comfortable and relaxed about the activity.
In return, lingering procrastination leads to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression, which may hurt self-esteem and lead to more self-doubt about one’s ability to accomplish the job. This vicious cycle is what’s called the perfectionism-procrastination loop and is in fact the leading cause of perfection paralysis.
This hypothesis has been found to be accurate for some people but not for others. Many self-described perfectionists do not experience serious problems with procrastination. On the other hand, many procrastinators tend to struggle with motivation to get things done rather than with perfectionism.
What does the research say ?
Science has long been interested in the link between striving for perfection and procrastination. Although there is still much to learn, some general tendencies have become clear.
The scientific literature has shown a connection between perfectionism, procrastination, and psychological distress. It is now widely believed that it is a self-feeding loop. However, the extent of that correlation varies across studies.
A study published in 2020 found a significant correlation between perfectionism and procrastination, and that the fear of failure causes people to overgeneralize failures to their entire sense of self, which in turn reinforces the connection between procrastination and perfectionism.
Other studies found small-to-medium effects between trait perfectionism and trait procrastination, while others found significant correlations between perfectionism and procrastination-related thought patterns. This suggests that the relationship may be stronger when viewed from a cognitive standpoint.
A 2021 study exploring the relationships between perfectionism and academic procrastination in 200 students found that students with higher scores on the perfectionism scale revealed more academic procrastination in comparison with individuals with lower scores. The results suggest that perfectionism may be a reason why people keep putting off doing their schoolwork.
Perfection paralysis, the all or nothing mentality
Perfection paralysis is the fear or avoidance of making mistakes that often leads to depression, anxiety, and inevitably to procrastination. This cycle can be difficult to break because it feels like doing something wrong will mean that you’re not good enough.
The reason for this is quite simple: you feel like if you don’t achieve perfect results, it means you will have failed once again. This paralysing fear is detrimental to your productivity and ability to take risks. As a result, you end up giving up before even starting because you know how difficult it will be to complete what seems insurmountable.
There are many reasons why you may become caught up in the cycle of perfectionism-procrastination. You may be struggling with feelings of insecurity or self-doubt, or you may feel like you need to always perform at your best in order to be respected or liked.
Regardless of the reason, the reality is that this cycle perpetuates your perfection paralysis and that is exactly what sets you up for failure. When you constantly put pressure on yourself to do things perfectly, it becomes difficult to take risks or make mistakes. And when you don’t try new things out because you’re scared of messing them up, your skills stagnate and you eventually lose interest in both your hobbies and work activities.
In short, expecting perfection just gives you two choices: either complete everything correctly on your first attempt, or don’t bother at all. In reality, there is only one choice because, on average, human beings make mistakes on their first attempt.
Read an in-depth article on the Psychology of Fear and Procrastination.
The perfectionism-procrastination cycle
The vicious cycle of perfectionism-procrastination develops when you set too many expectations on yourself. You become convinced that you cannot do anything right, which makes you even more reluctant to start anything in the first place. And as soon as you finally do begin working on something, voila! The anxiety has returned in full force, along with the feeling of guilt for having let things slip again.
Unfortunately, this cycle of perfectionism and procrastination often becomes self-reinforcing because it’s difficult to shake off thoughts of inadequacy once they’ve become ingrained in your mind. This cycle only gets worse the more it’s repeated. And the longer it takes you to break free from it, the worse the situation will become.
So, how do you break the perfectionism-procrastination loop?
There’s no magic bullet for breaking out of this cycle, but there are some steps that can help you get started on the path to recovery.
The key solution lies in recognizing when you’re engaging in this thinking process and implementing strategies for modifying your response to each situation accordingly.
Here are some proven and highly effective techniques to break the cycle and overcome your lingering perfection paralysis:
1. Set realistic but challenging goals
Setting goals is an essential part of success, but it’s important to be realistic about what you’re hoping to achieve. If your goal is too lofty or unrealistic, you may never achieve it. So instead of setting ridiculously high expectations, aim for realistic but challenging goals that will keep you motivated and help you avoid getting overwhelmed or discouraged.
2. Break activities into smaller pieces
Taking the time to break down larger tasks into more manageable chunks can help you better focus, track your progress and handle any challenges that may come your way. It also helps to accomplish projects more effectively when they are reasonably small.
3. Practice Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive Restructuring is a technique based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, one of the most well-researched and effective forms of psychotherapy. It includes the following steps:
➥ Recognize when your mind is getting stuck in the cycle and take a step back. Ask yourself what’s really driving this (is it the fear of failure or the anxiety over doing something new)?
➥ Identify negative thoughts and write them down. What thoughts do you have when you experience paralyzing perfectionism? What are you saying to yourself? You may be telling yourself: “I won’t be good anyway; it’s not even worth trying” or “I won’t be able to perform the task the way I want right now, so maybe I’ll do it when I am ready.”
➥ Assess the rationality of each thought and its reasonableness. Once you’ve found the irrational or exaggerated pattern of thinking, replace it with a more reasonable and realistic alternative.
⦿ Example:
Negative thought: “I won’t be good anyway; it’s not even worth trying”
can be replaced by a more realistic version.
Alternative: There’s no way I can predict I won’t be good enough unless I accomplish the task. And even if it’s not good enough the first time, practice makes perfect, and accomplishing the task imperfectly is still better than not doing it at all.
4. Practice self-acceptance and self-compassion
Accept that you have tendencies towards perfectionism and understand why it’s so hard for you to let go. Accept that you are not perfect and that there will always be room for improvement. Give yourself permission to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.
Takeaways
Perfectionists frequently hold themselves to unattainable standards. They have a tendency to be self-critical, which makes them more likely to delay or avoid doing tasks because they believe that they need to do them perfectly.
Because of this, perfectionists often have problems with perfection paralysis, which is a form of procrastination that can turn into a long-term, self-perpetuating cycle.
There’s no magic bullet for breaking out of the cycle of perfectionism-procrastination, but there are some steps that can help you get started on the path to recovery. The key is to be able to recognize when you’re thinking in ways that aren’t helpful and to have plans for how to change your cognitive and behavioral responses.
◉ Perfectionism in the workplace (2022)
https://momentumleaders.org/2022/04/14/perfectionism-in-the-workplace/#:~:text=86%25%20believed%20perfectionist%20expectations%20impact,of%20failure%20and%20conflict%20avoidance
◉ Perfectionism Among Young People Significantly Increased Since 1980s, Study Finds (2018)
https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2018/01/perfectionism-young-people
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About the author
My name is Sam David. I am the founder of "Proactivity Lab," a website that provides comprehensive strategies and resources for understanding and overcoming procrastination.
The website's resources are the culmination of more than 20 years of research and experience, during which I embarked on a long and gruelling journey of study and self-discovery.
Being a former procrastinator myself, it took me years of investigation and numerous trials and errors to gain a clear understanding of the underlying causes of procrastination and the most effective and scientifically supported strategies to permanently conquer the vicious cycle of procrastination.
I would like to share my knowledge with you, for free.
